Not just for the single people……

When you are married you get into a rut of life, you forget how much fun dating was.  Here are some tips to help everyone event he married folk.

1. Take a Break
Take a designated breather and clear your head. It’s like taking your house off the market. If the house isn’t selling, it starts to look bad, so you take the “For Sale” sign down. Then you give it a paint job, write a better ad, and suddenly everyone wants it! (In her book, the Millionaire Matchmaker calls this break “Dating Detox” and recommends 30-90 days off.) I call it a dating sabbatical. Whatever you call it, take it!

2. Read Funny Dating Stories
If you need a fresh, positive perspective, check out Samantha Daniels’s Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker. She really makes dating look fun, funny, and like a hopeful endeavor. My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands by Chelsea Handler also cracks me up. If you hate reading, tap into your friends. My girls Kelly, Beth, and Betsy can all come up with some doozies at the drop of a hat.

3. Date Older
Dating is frustrating when you barely know someone and you have to play games or participate in annoying text conversations. But if you go out with someone in his 30s or older, quite often you’ll have a more pleasant experience overall. The odds are better that he’ll make reservations ahead of time and not flake, and that he’ll call you the next day. And if you don’t like him, at least you’ll appreciate his efforts, and you won’t feel like chopped liver.

4. Plan Something Yourself
If you’ve always wanted to go rock climbing, surfing, or wine tasting, why not use the time you’re spending on dates and check something off your bucket list? Especially if it’s something you are hesitant to do alone.

5. Dress Up
It’s amazing what a new outfit can do for your mood. And to have someone to dress up for — even if it’s a long-shot blind date — well, you may have forgotten how good that feels. Trust me! Get dressed! You’re pretty! (If he won’t say it, I will!)

6. Date Outside Your Type
If the jerk-off bankers never call you back, or the artsy-fartsies constantly flake, try your luck with a computer nerd (I know, three stereotypes in one sentence). Also consider the local lifeguard, your cooking teacher or (gulp) the ambulance-chaser your mom wants to set you up with.

7. Stop Blaming Everyone Else
Have you ever come home from a set-up feeling disappointed and uttering the words, “Don’t people know my type?!” You feel baffled and misunderstood, don’t you? How about, “Are people stupid??” Or, “NO one is good-looking!” You can ask my roommate Erica, but I’m pretty sure I have said all of these things in the past. However! Once I stopped blaming everyone else for not being awesome upon initial meeting, I started getting to know good guys that I could really care about. I opened my mind! It took some pressure off of me — and definitely off of them! Dating became fun again.

8. Drink Less
This tip is hypocritical coming from me, but still, I’ve definitely dreaded dates when I thought I would just resent the guy for the extra calories and the hangover. Drink less, begrudge less (no matter how unfun he is).


June 28, 2010. June.

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